BALANCING PARENTHOOD AND A CAREER AS A SINGLE DAD
AMIR. H.
It's been a year since my wife left, and every day since has been a delicate balancing act. I never imagined I'd be raising three kids—ages 5, 7, and 11—on my own, but here I am.
I'm the Head of Digital for a chain of restaurants, a job that, thankfully, offers some flexibility. However, the flexibility is a double-edged sword. While it allows me to attend school events, doctor's appointments, and be there when my kids need me, it also means the boundaries between work and home life are often blurred. The pressure to excel in my career while being the primary caregiver is immense.
The judgments started almost immediately after my wife left. People often assume I don't look after my children properly, that I must have someone else—perhaps a nanny or my parents—doing the heavy lifting. When I pick up my kids from school or take them to the park, I get sympathetic looks from strangers and unsolicited advice about how to handle various parenting issues. It's as if being a single dad makes me a novelty, someone who must be struggling or incompetent.
My typical day starts at 5 AM. I wake up early to have some quiet time before the madness begins. I check emails, plan my workday, and get a head start on any urgent tasks. By 6:30 AM, the kids are up, and the morning routine kicks into gear: making breakfast, packing lunches, and ensuring everyone is dressed and ready for school. Once the kids are dropped off, I head to work, where my responsibilities demand my full attention. Tired – doesn’t even cover it – but I have to push on.
Despite the flexibility, there are days when the demands of work clash with my responsibilities at home. Conference calls during school pick-up times, urgent meetings when my youngest has a fever, and late-night deadlines after the kids are asleep—these are the moments when the pressure feels overwhelming. Yet, I push through, driven by the love I have for my children and the need to provide for them.
Peer pressure from friends and colleagues adds another layer of complexity. My friends, mostly married with kids, often invite me to social events or weekend getaways, assuming I can easily arrange for a babysitter. When I decline, I sense their pity and confusion. They don't understand that my free time is dedicated to my kids—that I'm the one helping with homework, preparing dinner, and tucking them into bed. My colleagues, on the other hand, sometimes view my need for flexibility as a lack of commitment. The unspoken expectation to be available around the clock weighs heavily on me.
I've learned to navigate these pressures by prioritising and compartmentalising. I set clear boundaries with work, ensuring that family time is sacred. I've become an expert multitasker, often answering emails while cooking dinner or brainstorming campaign ideas while watching over my kids at the park. My organisational skills have reached new heights, with colour-coded calendars and to-do lists becoming my best friends.
Support systems are crucial, and I've found mine in unexpected places. The parents of my kids' friends have become allies, helping with school runs and playdates. My work team, seeing my dedication, has stepped up to support me during crunch times. Online communities of single parents offer a sense of camaraderie and shared experience.
Despite the challenges, there are moments of pure joy that make it all worthwhile. The laughter during family game nights, the pride in my children's achievements, and the quiet moments of togetherness remind me why I keep pushing forward. My kids are my world, and I am determined to give them a stable, loving home.
Being a single dad is not a role I chose, but it's one I've embraced with all my heart. The journey is fraught with challenges and societal judgments, but it's also filled with love, resilience, and growth. I am not just looking after my children; I am raising them, nurturing them, and building a future for them. And for that, I am proud.
